Wednesday, May 4, 2011

What I Think

I have been reading a lot over the past couple of days about what others think of the death of OBL. There are a lot of different views going on. There are many questions that people have, there are those wanting to see pictures, there are those that are rejoicing and dancing in the streets, yet there are those that shed tears, there are also those that believe that it is all over now and troops can come home, while there are others that feel that this is just the beginning of bad things yet to come. Different views and opinions, that is everyones right, so here are mine to share.

Here is the scripture that I immediately thought of, “Say to them, ‘As I live!’ declares the Lord GOD, ‘I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that the wicked turn from his way and live." Many are rejoicing in the death of OBL, I will not rejoice. He was found, shot and killed. I will not rejoice because he has followers and they know what was in his mind. How do we know that they will not retaliate against us, America, or even worse, our troops. This is so very different from Sadam, he was found, taken into custody and put on trial. His exucution was a result of being found guilty.

What I do know......I know that security levels are up on all Military Bases around the World, even here where we live. There are terrorists cells all over the world, we must keep open ears and eyes all the time.

What else do I know.....I know that my husband is deploying soon. Like another Blog that I read, I hate it when people ask me where he is deploying because this is what I hear, " Oh, at least he isn't going to Afghanistan." Let me just say, how would you feel if your husband was deploying to a country where there are people that don't like our troops and that want them dead. Afghanistan is not the only country with people that do not like our troops! Many do not understand how it feels to say good-bye to your husband and while you are saying good-bye, you are praying and hoping that it's not the last good-bye that you say or the last time that you see him. Do you know how my stomach feels to have an empty pit in it? Do you know how my heart feels to be broken and in half? If your husband has never been deployed, then you don't know, you can't understand. And no, your husband going out of town for a "few" days is not the same. When your husband left, did he wear body armor and carry a gun 24/7, even when he went to the bathroom? 

What else I know......I know that it is hard being a one parent home when your husband is deployed. Mom has it all, the bills, the kids, the meals, the errands, the pets, and everything and anything else. You wait for that time everyday when your husband gets home from work so that you can tell him how your day was and you can ask him how his day was, you know, that adult conversation instead of teen talk, but you know that it will be awhile before that happens again. Instead, you say a quiet prayer that he is doing well and staying safe, and you continue to keep the faith.

What else I know....that this is our third deployment and it doesn't get any easier. The last deployment was when we were living in Germany and the Princess was 9 and the Bookworm was 6. They were both much younger then. Now the Princess is 14 1/2 and the Bookworm is 12. I do know that I am glad that the kids and I are in the States for this deployment and that we are not that far from family. We have a home in a nice neighborhood with great neighbors, the kids have great schools with many friends, and we have a great Church and Church family. But even though we have all of these things, I do know that it want be any easier, the kids have even said so, they say that it will be harder. Why? Because they know how it feels to not have Dad at home, eating dinner with us, tucking them in at night, going to Church as a family, going to their school and extra-curricular activities, to have Mom be the sole caregiver, attention giver and discipline giver. No other kid can understand a Military kid, to say they understand is not true. While there are those that can not begin to imagine how a deployment is, we have many many friends that we have made all over the World that know exactly how it is. Many have walked in the same shoes that we have and many are on their third, fourth, fifth or sixth deployments. How do they make it, the same way that we do, they have faith in God, we know that God will watch over us and our spouse/father while he is gone. The Bible verse that I cling to is Matthew 4:6, For it is written: "'He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone." I pray this daily for the Major while he is gone. I also pray my life verse for him as well, 2 Corinthians 2:14"But thanks be to God who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and who makes known through us the fragrance that consists of the knowledge of him in every place". Where ever we are, we can still be a witness for our God.

What else I know......I know that I will miss living in a solely Military community, with lots of other Military spouses and friends going through the same thing. During our last deployment we were living in Germany and we lived on Post, therefore we were solely with other Military spouses and kids going through the same thing as we were at the same time. It was comforting and gave someone to talk to and someone to do things with. This will be one of the hardest things to adapt to this deployment, not living in a predominately Military community. What I plan on doing, driving to our Post each week and getting involved once again in PWOC(Protestant Women of The Chapel) so that I can be in a weekly Bible Study with other Christian women that are also Military spouses, many of which are going through deployments or have gone through deployments, and also making some new friends.

What else I know.......I plan on keeping the kids and I busy. I found that keeping busy is what kept the time going by fast during our last deployment. Staying away from the news is another plan that I have, not that I watch the news now anyway! When we moved to Europe watching the news flew out the window because all you had was CNN or the country's news that you were stationed in which was in their language, so ever since then, we don't watch the news. And a side note on that, we hardly ever watch the television at all! I do know that I will probably be reading a lot again. Not that I don't read now, which I do, I just mean that during the Major's last deployment I  read at least 1, if not 2, books a week for the whole year he was deployed! When he redeployed our bedroom looked like a Bookstore! This time I have a Kindle so there shouldn't be that many new books laying around!

What else do I know......that the Major will miss our first Christmas in our new house. But I also know that it will be fun decorating with the kids. I also know that it will be interesting getting the tree down from the attic by myself....I guess I'll just throw it down in parts to the kids! This should be a sight! There will be birthdays, and other Holidays that will also be missed, along with the Princess getting her driver's permit and the Bookworm turning 13.

What else do I know.....that God does not give us anything that we can not handle. During our last deployment I asked God to help me with my anxiousness. Before the Major deployed, I use to be so anxious all the time. It was only a few weeks after the Major had deployed that the Bible Study that was being offered at the PWOC evening Bible Study was, "Calm My Anxious Heart, " by Linda Dillow. Totally God!! That is all that I can say! It took that whole year and when the Major redeployed, my anxiousness had left. The Major noticed a difference in me, and to this day, I have no anxiousness. I also learned to be more independent. Things that I "could" do, but that Major "would" do for me, I learned that I could do it! I know God has something new that He wants me to learn during this deployment as well.

What I know.....that we are still fighing Wars. That I have friends that have lost spouses, sisters, brothers and children because of OBL, and I know that we can not begin to understand how they feel. I do know there is one less bad person in the world. And I do know that I felt a sense of relief when I heard that he was no longer a threat, but a sense of "oh no" when I heard that he was killed. And now, I pray that God will keep His hand on our Nation and every Country in the World where our troops are serving and fighting to protect us and to be with me, my military friends and all of the other spouses as they give part of theirselves to serve our Country and to hold down the homefront while they wait on the return of their soldier.

There is so much more that I could say, but I am not a dweller, so I will end here. Remember, these are my thoughts and opinions. If anyone takes offense, I am truly sorry, but keep in mind that my thoughts and opinions are not directly directed toward anyone. Smile at someone today, for I am sure that you will receive a smile back.

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