You Are Loved

This beautiful arrangement of flowers was delivered to me today. A wonderful surprise from the Major for no apparent reason at all but to tell me that he loves me, misses me and thinks that I'm beautiful. It put a smile on my face and made me feel warm on this very cold, winter day.

Telling or showing our spouse that we appreciaite them, love them, care for them and adore them is very important in a marriage. It is very important that we express heartfelt appreciation and love. This doesn't mean that you have to constantly buy your spouse flowers, or other things, but it does mean that they need to feel loved. Just saying that you love them and that you care about them and appreciate them can mean more than you'll ever know.

Years ago, the Major and I each read the book, The Five Love Languages. He had his own book and I had mine.(actually it was 5 years ago when we were going through deployment number 2) After we each finished the book and completed the study at the end of the book, we sat down and discussed what our individual love languages were.

Believe it or not, I am not a gift person, nor do I like acts of service, or words of affirmation.(if you have read the book then you know that these are all love languages) I am a quality time type of person, with a little bit of physical touch thrown in. My favorite thing in the world is spending time with the Major, quality time, throw in the Major holding my hand and/or giving me a gentle kiss on the forehead and you have one happy girl! The Major knows what my love language is, and he knows that I love his undivided, focused attention. Quality time for us is taking a walk around the neighborhood together, sitting in our swing in the backyard, or sitting on our deck drinking a cup of coffee. Somethings in life are still free, and spending quality time with your spouse is one of the best free things in the world!

The Major is most definately a words of affirmation type of person, this is his primary love language. When he has done something for me, or something around the house or for the teens or for work or for someone else, I make sure to make the effort to let him know that what he did meant a lot to the person that he did it for. That his acts of service do not go unnoticed.
We are to be an encourager to our spouse. When I give words of affirmation to my husband I am giving empathy and seeing the world through his perspective, because I know what is important to him. Love is kind and so must also be our words. Words are important.

Although knowing your spouse's love language is very important in a marriage, the one thing that is of most importance is PRAYER. Praying for your spouse is the most important thing that you can do for your spouse. If you and your spouse have never read, The Power of A Praying Wife/Husband, then I want to strongly encourage you to do so. Your marraige and your spouse and yourself will thank you for doing so. When we lay everything at the feet of God and allow God to transform us, our spouse, our circumstances and our marriage, you and your spouse will receive the greatest blessing. When spouses prayer for eachother a oneness is made and the enemy doesn't like it. When the strength of a husband and wife are joined together it is a lot stronger in God's sight than when we are individuals.

When we pray for one another, something happens in our hearts, it melts our hearts and shows us love for one another. When I pray for the Major, my love grows deeper for him and my walk with the Lord grows stronger. There are many times when I pray for the Major about a particular situation and he has know idea that I am praying for or about it, and many times he has said to me, you've been praying about that haven't you because I felt your prayers. When he tells me this, I know that he knows that I love him, because friends, LOVE is the ultimate love language.

Do you know your spouses love langauge? If you do are you acting upon it, are you speaking their love language? If not, don't you want to? Don't you want to know your spouses love language?

Do you pray? Do you lift up your spouse and earnestly pray for them? My friend prayer is such a vital part of our life, it's how we communicate with God. If spouses do not lift one another up, then who will help you when you fall down!

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up." Ecclesiastes 4:9&10

Spontaneous, Independent and Self

Spontaneous, this describes the last 5 days in my life. A very good, spontaneous last 5 days too!

With the Major's deployment, he makes lots of trips everywhere around the world(and can't tell me where he's going until he gets there or comes back) and this last trip just so happened to bring the Major to the States. His first stop was El Paso for a quick day and a half with the remainder of his trip flying him in to DC. With much surprise the Major asked me to come and spend a few days with him in DC. Cost to us, nothing thanks to frequent flyer miles :)

After changing a few appointments and getting the two teens ready for Mom to leave for a few days I began to get excited about my trip to spend a few days with the love of my life, the Major.

If you don't have a frequent flyer card I encourage you to get one, with our points on Delta, I didn't have to pay anything for my ticket and I had wonderful seats on all of my flights. It was a bit strange traveling alone, I'm not use to traveling alone, to say the least, flying alone either!

So on Friday night I reserved my seats on my flights and let the Major know that I would be able to join him in DC, even if I was only going to get to see him in the evenings. But that was good enough for the both of us, we've been missing each other desperately so it would be nice to see each other, even if it was only for alittle bit.

Saturday consisted of me getting everything ready around the house for me to leave, clothes washed for the teens, groceries bought, cleaning, getting notes and things ready for my Mom and of course, me packing!

Sunday morning came rather quickly and I found myself getting up and kissing the teens goodbye before 7 am. 7:15 and I had already loaded up my suitcase and was headed to the airport. By 8 am I was checked in at the airport, scanned through security and waiting at my gate for my flight to board and depart to Atlanta. By 11 I was in Atlanta and waiting for me 1 pm flight to DC. I had great flights and it was great weather. Of course my nose was planted in my Kindle reading the whole flight. Upon landing in DC my heart and stomach had butterflies in the anticipation that I would soon be seeing the Major in only a few short hours after his flight got in from Houston. Between our flights in and out of airports the Major and I kept texting each other. This was quit a previlige considering that we can not text when he is not in the States. Whenever I was landing at one airport he would be taking off and by the time I would be taking off at my next destination, he would be landing!

By 3 pm I had landed in DC and had found my way to the the baggage claim, grabbed my bag and went to find my shuttle to the Hotel. Another nice perk of my trip was that I didn't have to pay for a Hotel room because the Major already had one that was being taken care of by his work. After a half hour of waiting, my shuttle finally arrived and I was off to the Hotel. When I got to the Hotel, the staff new that I would be arriving before the Major(he called and let them know) and they let me go on up to the room. Having not eaten anything all day and knowing that it would be a few hours before the Major arrived, I ordered the best salad that I had ever eaten from Room Service! By the time I was finished and had freshened up it was a few hours later and when it was 6 pm, the Major came through the room door! It was such a warm and sweet feeling to see each other and to feel his hand grab my hand. A quick hello and he was back out the door by 6:10 to go to an hour meeting, then it would be time for us to finally spend some time together and go get some dinner together and talk. I think I talked his ear off every evening when he got in from work!

His days started before 6 am every morning and lasted til 6 or 7 in the evenings. I filled my days with riding the DC Metro and touring. The first thing on my agenda for Monday morning was taking the Metro to Arlington to find a dear friend of ours headstone and gravesite. This friend was killed in Afghanastain and I really wanted to go and see where he was laid to rest. I was able to find his gravesite and was very touched when I visited it, a few tears were shed and I stood there and prayed for his family, his wife and two daughters. I also prayed for our Country and our Government and for all men and women in our Military, including all spouses and children.

Next stop after Arlington, the National Gallery of Art! I love art and I spend well over 3-4 hours in the Museum! Finding my favorite art, and buying a cool book, 1001 Paintings You Must See Before You Die, even though I did pay $36.oo for it! Close to 5 and I made my way back to the Hotel to wait on the Major to get in from his day of work at the Pentagon. 6:30 and he arrives and it's dinner time, and just spend quality time together.

My second morning I found myself up, dressed and waiting on my breakfast to come that I ordered via Room Service. After taking my time and eating, I then made my way once again to the Metro to begin my venture for the day. What was going to be my adventure....the Ford's Theater. I have been by the Ford's Theater many times in my life, but I have never had the opportunity to go inside and actually see where Abraham Lincoln was shot. This is a great time of the year to tour DC, I found there was only myself and about 20 other people in the Theater at the time that I was there. It was also nice because I got to here the Park Ranger talk about the Theater and the day that led up to Lincoln being and shot. I was also able to go into the building in which he died. I really loved being able to see this, because now I can say that I have been to Kentucky where Lincoln was born and lived as a child and now where he was shot and died. Next venture of the day was going and just walking around the Lincoln Memorial and walking across the Potomac Bridge, which ended my day back at the Metro stop at Arlington and I found myself on the way back to the Hotel with hopes that the Major was going to be done early this evening. An early night rung true and it was nice being able to spend a few last hours together before we both had to fly out the next day.

Wednesday morning was another early morning for the Major which held for his last day at the Pentagon and an early 10 am flight for me to head back home. Good-byes were said and hugs and kisses were given on the Major's way out to work, and I let go of the hand that is my helpmate and best friend eagerly waiting till my hand would be held once again by his.

Wednesday afternoon and I had landed back at home and I hit the ground running making it back home by the time the teens were home from School. I was greeted with hugs and "hey Mamas", yep, I was back, back to holding down the fort at the Cottage while the Major was away, back to being the constant in the teens lives and back to putting spontaneous and self on the shelf..........until next time!  :)

Everyone needs to have a little spontaeous, independant and self in your life. What have you done that's been spountaneous, when is the last time that you put yourself first for once in your life?

Self-Absorbed, Self-Centered and Selfish People

If there is one thing, one person, that really gets under my skin it's a self-absorbed, self-centered and selfish person. A person whom only thinks of themself. A person so full of themself that they don't care how they act around others or how they talk to others.

Self means a person's character, their nature, personl interest. Self-Absorbed people are people that are draining to the other people in their life and to those that are around them. Self-centered is someone that is engrossed in their ownself and their own affairs. All three describe a person who only thinks of themselves. This person also constantly reminds others about "their" good qualities and "your" bad qualities! Yeah, they do things primarily for themselves. Did I hit a bone? Do you know anyone like that? Are you like that?

First of all, if you are a self-absorbed, self-centered and selfish person I'm praying for you. And if you know of someone like this, than I want to suggest that you pray for them. We are to put others before ourselves. We are to exemplify J-O-Y!

A person that is so caught up in themself cannot be living a life that exudes Christ and exudes Christ in all that they do. This brings me to my life verse: 2 Corinthians 2:14-16, "But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing.To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life. And who is equal to such a task?" Our job on Earth is to spread and share the Gospel of Christ. I don't know about you, but how can you do that if you are a self-absorbed, self-centered and selfish person? I have a big heart and I find that most of my life I have given, it's natural for me to give. I would rather give than recieve, the same is for the Major, maybe the Lord saw this in him and that's why he called him to go into the Ministry.

How do we feel when we are around these types of people that only see "themself" in the world? I feel sorry for the person and then at the same time, I feel embarrassed. How can someone not notice they are so wrapped up in themself? I just feel sorry and embarrassed for them! Then I lift up a prayer that God would open up their eyes and clear the clutter in their heads!

Does this mean that we are never self-absorbed, self-centered or selfish, of course not! We all have alittle of the three of these in us, but it's our choice wether we want to unleash them and if we want to reap what we sow!
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Actions Speak Louder Than Words

How many times have you heard this? Or how many times have you said this? Maybe you can say yes to both questions, I know I can! The phrase to me is true, actions do speak louder than words and this particularly makes me frustrated when someone tellls you they are going to do something and they never do! Don't tell someone you're going to do something if you're not going to follow through with your WORDS. Because ACTIONS do speak louder than words.

What is really frustrating is when kids, especially my kids are involved. It's best not to tell a kid that you are going to do something unless you really are going to do it! Don't say that you're going to go to a School Program, Band Concert, Foot Game, Wrestling Match or other activity or event if you're really not going to take action! How would you feel if someone told you they were going to do something and they didn't follow through? I know that it really frustrates me when people do it to me and it especially frustrates me when it happens to kids.

Basically when people do not follow through with actions on words that they say, they are basically say that they care more about themselves than others. We are to live a live of JOY, we are to put Jesus first, Others second and Yourself last!

So think about it, where would we be if Christ would not have put us first? Next time you open your mouth and say that you're going to do something think about it and make sure that you are going to follow through with what you say because you can save a lot of heart ache and hurt.

Wrestling a Fall, Another Episode and Mom is Down:Not a Normal Week at The Cottage

This week at the Cottage has been far from normal, if there is such a thing as normal! I have found myself repeating Psalms 34:1 lots of times this past week. This is a verse in which I leaned and clinged to many many years ago when I struggled with anxiety and stress. "I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth." This held true this week as our week unfolded starting on Tuesday....

Tuesday started with the kids going to school and Mom going to the Doctor for a follow-up about my severe allergic reactions that I have been having. If I haven't mentioned it before, blood testing(I had 11viles of blood taken) showed that I am severely allergic to TURKEY and I am also severely allergic to CARAMEL COLOR. Yep, this came as a shock to me! Do you know what all has caramel coloring in it!!! Yogurt, ham, beef broth, most soft drinks, just to name a few! So, what is a girl to do!?! I have to read the labels on everything! But I must admit that I have been looking at the labels so much lately that it is now second nature! So my appointment turned into more than just a follow-up. I showed my Doctor a place on my left leg that was red and very tender to touch and she immediately said that I had a severe bacterial infection, yep, she said that if I get a fever or it gets worse that she will have to put me in the Hospital on intravenous antibiotics, but for now she said that she will put me on a very strong oral antibiotic and to come back next week and if it's still the same she will admit me!! Ummm, this can't happen, the Major is deployed and I have two teens to take care of!! Praying that it gets better because this Mom doesn't have time for the Hospital!!

Our Tuesday wasn't over yet....the Bookworm came home from wrestling practice and what appeared on him....the cuts from a terrible fall from running where the pavement definately won! So we have been nursing two really scraped and cut knees, one palm with a deep wound, the other hand with knuckles all cut and one left shoulder that is really really cut and messed up down to the meat! Yep, the Bookworm has been wrestling a fall, and how did it happen....they were running for wrestling practice and a team mate that was running behind him stepped on something that went in his foot and it made him fall into the back of the Bookworm making him fall on the pavement! Ouch!! Praising God that with our doctoring it is getting better everyday.

Tuesday also held a wrestling match, as well as Wednesday night. Thursday was a nice day because we all three got to sleep in a little longer than usual. The Bookworm had Wrestling practice and the Princess had an appointment with her Cardiologist, an appointment that we were ready to go to because of the episodes that the Princess had been having. Her appointment turned out well, her heart is healthy and well! So this confirms that she suffers from atypical migraines which can cause all of the symptoms that she has at least once a month which are nausea, headache, paleness and temporary loss of sight. After her appointment we had errands to run and a casual wear outfit to buy for her School Pagent that she is going to be in. What better place to shop than Belk right? So we're in Belk and we finally found something that she liked, we are getting ready to walk out of the dressing room and she says that she doesn't feel well, that she feels sick and her head was starting to hurt. She knew that she was starting to have an episode, we both knew what was next, she would feel real light headed  and have a temporary loss of sight. Needless to say, it happened, there we were in Belk and I had to literally drag/tote my daughter out of the store! Once out the store doors to the outside the cool air hit her and she didn't feel hot anymore, but she was very cool to the touch and very pale. I sat her down on the curb with her nearly falling back on her head, finally she was able to sit up and put her head between her knees. I ran to get the van and put her in and high tailed it home! Once we got home she immediately got in the bed to sleep it off. After a few hours she woke up and was very exhausted and fatigued from the episode. Next week there will be another visit to her Doctor to change her medication because the preventative that she is on isn't preventing anything! I had never been in such a state of shakiness and scared and nervousness in all my life, I felt helpless!

Thursday night, although it was one in the morning for the Major, he skyped me and it was the first time that I broke down crying. Sometimes you can't help but show how you feel on the inside. His words of comfort and encouragement helped. Almost two months gone of this deployment and 7 more to go!

Moral to my quite interesting and unusual week here at the Cottage: Military wives usually go with the flow, don't ever spend the extra time or energy wondering what:when:where or how: they just do it, they're use to being alone for months on end, that no matter how hard it is they keep going because they have to and they keep the Faith, they learn not to sweat the small stuff, to be a listener:an encourager and remind theirself that they are strong, and they pray pray pray!

In Our Home

Funny to think that many of the sayings mentioned on the above picture are practiced in many homes. How sad. What would life be like without second chances, thank yous, realness, sorrys, love, mistakes, respect, happiness, dreams, faith and family.

When you start talking about homes, there are so many different types of homes to talk about. Not everyone grew up in the same kind of home environment. This is true. Lots of times we notice this when we marry. I know that is true for the Major and I. His upbringing and mine were not the same, in fact they were total opposites. Together, we have come together and we have a foundation set for our own home and family.

I was born in SC in the 70's and reared in a home where my Father worked and my Mom stayed at home. It was nice having a Mom that was at home. She was there with us to get us up in the mornings and take us to school, she was there to pick us up from school. She helped with homework and took my brother and I to our extra-curricular activites, and she had dinner ready and we were ready to eat when my Dad got home from work. I grew up drinking sweet tea, and most everything was fried!

I grew up in the country where my brother and I went to a country elementary school where everyone knew everybody and our middle and high schools were considered in the city because of the distance we drove to get there. We would enjoy swimming in the pool during the summer time, riding our go carts and four-wheelers. We would hunt and go barefoot. We even, at one time, each had rabbits, and goats and ducks! It was a fun childhood. We were also very fortunate to have both sets of our Grandparents living within minutes of us and even my Aunts and Uncles and Cousins. Family vacations were to the beach or mountains or Disney World, and my Granny would most always travel with us.

I went to a Southern Baptist Church, in fact, I went to the same Church my whole life and I accepted Christ as my Savior and became a Christian when I was 10 years old. It was a rural country Church, but it was full of some of the most loving and wonderful believers that I have ever known. Many are gone now and they are in Heaven, and I will never forget them and the impact that they each had on my life. This is the Church were I grew up, this is the Church where I was Baptised, and this was the Church that I said good-bye to when the Major and I married over 17 years ago.

I grew up with one sibling, a brother whom is 3 1/2 years younger than I am. We are completely night and day. I have brown hair:he has red, he is tall:I am average height, he never had to study:I always had to, I have kids:he doesn't. It was fun growing up with a little brother and it was fun to dress him up too with make up and heels! We had lots of fun times swimming, riding bikes, go-carts, four-wheeling, hunting, playing video games. No, we were not always nice to eachother, we were like all other siblings, there were times where we would argue and tease eachother. One of those times ended with me getting a broken arm!

I grew up in a home where my parents married young, and had me when they were only 19 and 17 years old. They had known eachother for every and fell very much in love and still are, and have been married for 37 years. My parents have gone through many seasons in their life. There are no kids at home as my brother and I are both married. My parents still live in the same home and city in which I grew up in and which I never moved or left until I married. My brother is married to my sweet wonderful sister-in-law and they recently moved to Georgia after living in Illinois for the past five years. It is so nice having them a few hours away now. The Major and I have been stationed in SC going on four years now and it is very nice being close to my family and it's especially nice that our Princess and Bookworm have their Grandparents(my parents) only alittle over an hour down the road.

The Major was also born in the 70's, but he came from a Military family and lived lots of places as he was growing up. He has lived from the East Coast to the West Coast and like me was born on the East Coast, even though he was born in Rhode Island and is a notherner(yankee)! But I will say that he is far from a northerner, he is very much southern. Unlike me, the Major was educated in private Catholic Schools, although I will add that I did go to a private school during second grade, until he moved to SC and was in a public High School.

He was raised Catholic, had a Dad and Mom whom both worked and he lived in the city. Unlike me being the oldest, the Major is the youngest. He has two siblings, a sister whom is the oldest and a brother who is the middle child. There is a 3 year age gap between each of them. His siblings are married and now have children of their own just like us and they all reside in the same state close to where the Major's parents live. The Major wasn't only the baby in the family, but also the last one to marry and last one to "leave the nest".

Although the Major was raised in the Catholic church, he never accepted Christ until was 17 years old, but never fully understood the feeling and understanding of being a Christian until months after we were married, where he fully gave himself to Christ and was baptized. Every since that day he has given himself completely to Christ and is a God strong and a man of faith. Funny how God called a boy who grew up Catholic to be His servant and go into the Ministry...The Major continues to work on his Master of Divinity at Liberty University. I know God has great plans in store for the Major. Who knows, maybe we'll end up starting a Church or being Missionaires!

The Major and I met our Junior year of High School. We were both in the Band and we knew eachother, but we didn't really know eachother. It was on a Band trip that we started talking and we got to know eachother better. After the trip we started dating(dating almost 2 years) and we have been together ever since. We gradutated from High School, we were engaged the year we graduated, I went to College while the Major went in the Army and then we were married after he completed AIT. Our wedding day was on the Thanksgiving long weekend because we knew that the Major would have a four day and would be able to come to his own wedding :)

We were young when we married, we were both 19 years old. We were criticized by some because they thought that we were too young. We were in love and knew that we wanted to be together, the Major had a great job in the US ARMY and we knew that we wanted to be with eachother for the rest of our lives. We didn't care what the "few" people thought about us or our age. All I can think or say about it is, look at us now! Happily married with two children and we've been married for almost 18 years! Alot longer than some people and other people our age!

We had a most lovely and beautiful wedding. My parents spared no expense. It was rainy the day of our wedding, which is said to be good luck, and was held in one of the biggest Churches in our city. We had a traditional wedding, and no, it was not in a Catholic church with a mass, etc. Neither of us wanted that( I wasn't Catholic and that wasn't us), so we were married in a Church that was neither mine nor the Major's. The Preacher that married us was one that had watched me grow from being a little girl into a woman, he was the one that baptized me and he was the one that I wanted to marry us. The Major met him on several occasions before we were married and he agreed, he thought that he was very nice and had a fun personality. My Dad walked me down the aisle and gave me away. And my Mom, words can't describe what kind of a Mom she is, she helped with everything that had to do with the wedding and made sure that everything was perfect! So on November 26, 1994, the Major and I were married and we began our life together.

I'll never forget when the Major found out where his first duty assignment was going to be in the Army. I asked him where and he said Fort Rucker. I thought that sounded like a cool place, at least it had a neat name. Then I asked him where that was, and he said Alabama! For this country girl that had never moved before I thought that we would be getting stationed somewhere out of the south, so I was a little disappointed with Alabama. Yet, we loved the years that we spent in Alabama, it was a wonderful first assingment, still close enough to SC to go and visit family. It was where we had our first house and where we started our family. It was where the Princess was born. Now it's almost 18 years later, 13 moves, 8 duty stations, 3 deployments and two teenagers in the Cottage, and we're in the best season of our life!

We have a home where the Major is the head of the household, where God is our foundation, where our faith and trust are in God and God alone. A home where we give second chances, where we say thank you, where we're real and not fake(you either like us and love us or you don't and leave us alone and we'll leave you alone too), where we say I'm sorry, a home where there is much laughter and love, a home where we all make mistakes becauae we are not perfect, a home where respect is given, a home full of happiness, a home where it is okay to dream, a home that believes in faith and stands on it, and a home where we are family.

My Year's Theme and Life Verse

At the end of each year I pray to God to reveal to me what He wants me to focus on for the coming new year. As we are going through a Deployment, I was very anxious to see just what God wants me to focus on. Our last Deployment God showed me the word "anxious". I use to be a very anxious person and during the last Deployment I prayed that God would take away all anxiousness in my life. God does hear us when we pray! I was apart of PWOC(Protestant Women of The Chapel) in Germany and the Bible study that we were starting when The Major deployed was.....Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. God knew what I needed and He knew how to give it to me! By the time the Major redeployed, all anxiousness was gone! Thank you Lord! Those that knew me before we moved to Europe noticed the change when we moved back to The States six years after living in Europe. To this day when someone tells me that I am stressed or anxious it really bothers me because I know that I no longer get anxious or stressed, I simply say to the person, no, I think that you are :)

This year I heard not one but three words from the Lord. The Lord has given to me: GIVE, GO and NO. These are the words that I will focus on during this new year. I will give to what the Lord shows me to give to, be it time, money or self. I will go where the Lord wants me to go. And I will not be afraid to say no. No to things that I do not want to do, no to things that I may have said yes to before. I will not be anxious.

Many of my friends have life verses, I too have one. If you do not have a life verse I encourage you to find one. Read your Bible and pray to the Lord to show you a verse that He wants you to focus on, a scripture for you to meditate and dwell on, a scripture that will inspire you, challenge you, and remind you to live your life day to day for Christ because we were put here on this Earth to be a witness for Him and to share and spread His Word.

My life verse: 2 Corinthians 2:14&15"But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing."

Blessings to you in the New Year, challenge yourself to pray and ask God what He wants you to reveal and meditate on in your life this year!